Have you ever got caught in spending time with the wrong person? Someone who makes you question your self-worth and the value you give yourself? I know that I have. It is easy to become too attached to someone who we make our most priority when they might only make us an option. This could be a friend, family member or even a co-worker. That one person whom we try so hard to be good enough for that we loose our value in the process.
These are the people who I title “toxic” in my life. Not because they are horrible people, but because they aren’t the right kind of people to have in my life. They are the kind of people who make you second-guess your worth. The one that drain all the energy out for the day before even enjoying our cup of coffee. Sure, you could try to change the way you think about them and the attitude you bring to the table. However, people who are truly toxic will always have a way of holding you back. They are the ones who you need to be clear on where you set the boundaries for in your life.
How can you tell if you’re getting caught up with the wrong people?
You stop prioritizing your values
Anything that you once valued, seems to be put on the back burner. When you are with them all you worry about are the things that they value, and you drop anything to become good enough for them.
You might overvalue them, and give them the wrong kind of power over your life
When you constantly overvalue the wrong people in your life, you are giving them the validation to create your own life. Instead of working towards making yourself valuable, you might be working towards fitting perfectly into someone else’s image of you.
Your life might feel like it’s on a pause.
Everything you ever do will be for them. If this is a friend, a crush or even a family member everything that you once worked towards will feel like it got put on pause because now you are too busy chasing after satisfying this other person.
“Give yourself the value that you seek from others”
-Beautiful Simple Life
Don’t get me wrong, there will be times when you need to show up for others before yourself and not expect anything in return. That is how a relationship with anybody works, but remember that you should never make someone a priority when they only make you an option. If this person in your life gets angry at you or becomes distant soon as you stop filling up their expectations of you, those might be the wrong kind of people to constantly be around.
People who truly love and care for you will always understand that you can’t always be there for them. They will understand that sometimes you got to show up for yourself before them. From experience, those are the best kind of connections to have. Why settle for anything less?
There is nothing more satisfying than finding the people that you can rely on. The ones who are not afraid to live their own life, while you live yours. People who keep coming back because you bring happiness into their life. Their unconditional love is your priority because no amount of time or distance apart will ever change how much you love them and value them. These are your people, that are worth going above and beyond for. Learning the difference can bring the most positive change into your life.
Value Yourself by:
Knowing your worth
Have confidence in what you are capable of
Have the integrity to go after your dreams, desires, wants and needs without relying on anyone
Ask yourself who dictates your life?
Friends and family who constantly expects your undivided attention
Social media that can steal your time away from your desires
Things that put your dreams on hold because you are distracted
“Don’t make someone a priority
when they only make you an option”
How to value yourself more?
Live life being self-aware. This doesn’t mean that you won’t make any mistakes, but it will allow you to learn from them in order to take the next step in your life.
Observe who you are, and learn who you want to be, than do everything in your power to become that person.
Set boundaries for yourself and others around you. Be there for people, but be there for the right kind of people.
Most of all be there because you want to be there without expecting anything in return.